Elaine's Retarded Family: Christmas Edition!

At most of the recent christmas events at my dad/elaine's house [elaine being his gf] Elaine invites her brother and his wife and daughter. None of which have any level of intelligence [can't really tell for the kid yet- she's 4].

Her entire family is like that. It's horrible to think that Elaine, extrordinarily dumb in herself, might be one of the most intelligent in her family.

Oh, her brother is so retarded it was almost funny. In fact, it might have been funny if I didn't want to kill retards. Throughout nearly the entire time he was sitting at the computer doing something really important...playing Hearts! I sat in the room for a while cause this house really wasnt meant for the number of people it currently contained. He routinely swore and thanked the computer vehemently, maybe every 5 seconds or less. More swearing of course.

Playing Hearts and taking to your self while you do it is definitely vastly more important than letting somebody else use it for something they can't do with everyone else at the party since you can prolly find somebody to play hearts with at the party and maybe even swear at.

Anyway, this is not the full extent of his retardation tendencies.

Dad was going through his monotonous billion-picture slide show of everyone's life like he always does at such events when dad pointed out a hotel he stayed at with Grampa and pointed to the part of the deck they were sitting at for dinner to demonstrate how nice of a view they had.

Now Elaine's brother says something like "If you're up there then who is taking the picture?"

Dad explains that they were not up there at the time and the basic blantantness that everyone should be able to comprehend.

Mister Retard says he was joking. In order for a joke to be a joke it has to be sooo ridiculous that people cannot comprehend you being serious [ridiculous, not retarded]. Secondly a joke can be so serious [and likely at the same time] that you really can't tell it's a joke but once it becomes obvious it's funny.

Let me tell you how this joke entered the hollow shell some call his head. He looked at the picture and wondered to himself, "Well, they up there an' they taking picture at same time, dat is not pussible...oh wait, it is. Funny joke! Must Share!"

Also, he asked me what the difference between Molecular and Organic was. I wanted to shoot him. If you think they are the same that means you think you know what they mean. If you know what a Molecule is then you know they are not the same based on your local grocery store selling organic and inorganic bananas [like this retard] instead of molecular or non-molecular bananas. I would like to see a non-molecular banana.

This question is worse than a kid asking me what the different between multimolecular and molecular is.

We do not have enough time to go into all his bursts of brain cell damage but I think you get the idea.

His wife is equally retarded if not moreso. She acts like a 5 yr old. "I think Mike is getting too many presents from Santa". So to your own house if you don't want to see the host getting presents from his kids. Other dumb comments like that also proceeded to commence from her orifice(s).

I feel so much better now! I hate retards!