The Fearful Leader is much Appreciative!

I had to visit Grammy today [6-7:30ish]. Wasn't too bad. I don't mind seeing most members of my family. But Philip was there and so were Veronica and Ryan [young cousins] and it reminds me of how little control there is over the chaotic screaming children. I used to be an insane child but I never did what some of them do- which is randomly make noises for the sole purpose of annoying people [Ryan]. I couldn't stand that. Also, if somebody told me to be quiet, I'd do it [out of fear prolly since i was so scared back then]. But when they are around there is just building stress and I realize my family has grown immune like I used to be. Now that I am in college I realize how horrible it really is back there.

Listening to their conversations I find innumerable holes in everyone's arguments. I stay silent. I don't want to argue that everyone is wrong. Then i realized this must have been why i used to think I was smart- cause my family really isn't. They have a few reasonable arguments but many of them I listen to and I can feel my IQ dropping. I know my mom can get all As in her college classes but somehow she can forgo common sense... I am not sure I'll ever understand.

Come to find out Matt cant help out philip anymore cause of some bad thing that i was really curious and doubtful about but I didnt find out cause I knew I didn't really want to know...and I would just feel frustrated thinking he was wrongfully accused. I didn't like Matt, but he was hitting on me- not Philip. And it wasn't like he hid any of his intentions or was at all dangerous. Their indictations are ridiculous and now we are one less on people willing to deal with Philip. Then there is some thing going on between my ucles- who knows what. I just know Doug and Lisa [uncle & aunt] were complaining about it.

Blah- so that is that But...!

I did come home to a delightful bag of groceries with my name on it with a letter inscribed to me from "A Dark Legion Brethren" [burned and crumpled of course <3].>

I am amazed by how considerate he is... I am even more amazed that he's not just trying to get me to go out with him- he's just a really nice guy. I don't think I've ever had just a friend [non-previous bf]who's cared so much as to go out of his way to make my life better without me indicating anything at all whatsoever [not even stuff that could be misinterpretted as such].

It's kinda nice to feel like I have somebody watching over me even while John [my usual caretaker] is in NY and my 'bf' is nowhere to be seen.