Unstable Priorities?

Ah, blogging. I am just so bored right now this is what I must do.

I was thinking about the priorities in my life...wondering how different and similar they were to most people.

One thing that bothers me is that I apply so much of my mental processes [and physical i suppose] to a Significant Other that when they are gone such a big chunk of what i think about and what i do is also gone. A lot of times their happiness comes before my own, there is something important about me being the cause of happiness. I have to constantly think about what I can do to keep improving it and when there is an issue it stems from me feeling insufficient in some way and it stresses me almost to no end.

I have all this energy and now that I know how to donate it and completely dedicate it all to somebody that's all I want to do. Clearly this is one sided though. I can get the pleasure of being the cause of somebody's happiness but then when they go? Clearly it just wasn't enough to make them want to stay so all that effort was a complete waste.

What about other priorities? Work? I have to work, I hate working, and working, still doesn't come before a significant other in my mind. Should it? I've heard/seen various stances.

I don't like the idea of not completely dedicating myself to a significant other because they is just how much I care but there must be some alternative to turning that off. I've seen some ways but they are usually temporary. Like if I want to see some effort, some indication that I am not the only dedicated one...then I can turn it off [visually anyway] for a while. It's a shallow turn-off though when it is still rolling around in the mind. A festering wound I suppose.

I used to play RO, read books. I can work on my own literary work but how do I eliminate a priority that I have known for so long from my mind and get just as much fulfillment from dedicating myself to, a book say, which at the very least won't be rejecting my efforts or unappreciative of such dedication.

It's something to consider but I am just unsure of how to make such a transition. What does everyone else receive fulfillment in? I want something with the same meaning to me as my usual priority. Something that just matters so much everthing counts. Is there even such a thing.

and so the hunt begins, to be continued...!